" I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
I have found it difficult to find anything very interesting to say lately. These past few months of days filled with phone calls, medical research, insurance companies and all of the bills that follow have left me feeling exhausted and creatively brain dead. Having a normally incredibly silly child who is suddenly in chronic pain has tethered me, necessarily, in the real world. For many people, this reality is what they do every day of their child's life. I have been spending time at the Children's Hospital....I have watched these courageous parents and their even more courageous children. When your child is ill, you find inner strength that you never knew you had. For me inner strength and inner peace do not hold hands though. My peace only comes from my creative voice. Without it, I lose any sense of balance and other parts of my life suffer....my ex husband and I were just discussing this the other day....my creative wings have been temporarily clipped, but feathers grow back. I know that I still have the ability to fly, it just takes patience and more work right now. This has given me an appreciation for the crazy world of creative expression that I have been allowed and encouraged to live in most of my life.....I have so many people to thank, especially my family, for picking me off of the ground and dusting me off, or at least having the kindness to not laugh too hard when they've watched me trip and try to cover it with a intricately choreographed dance. Thank you.....for seeing me as a better person than I see myself, and for kicking me in the butt when I've needed it. I am blessed.